I used to love dating. Not the crap part where you really liked them and they broke your heart and you had to fly back home to see your mum because only she could feed you dinner and hold your hand and put you to bed and tell you everything was going to be alright and convince you that your heart would one day be whole again.
Not so much that part. More the possibility. The meeting someone beautiful and shiny and getting excited about What Could Be. I loved that.
I have a lovely Lovely One now and so my dating.crazy.boys.days are over. But I still get excited in the same way when I meet fabulous women.
Yesterday I hung out with a terrific lady I know. We’ve spent time together before but always with other people, with mutual friends. This was the first time just the two of us [I was nervous!] and it was so great, in much the same way. She is interesting and kind and funny and a Really Good Person. And I find myself excited about the possibility of our friendship.
He was wearing a bright yellow jumper, home.knitted, with holes [where stitches had lovingly dropped]. It was just a little too short but his softly.worn pants were pulled up high to meet it, held by a worn.forever belt.
He was moving slowly, a little bent over, shuffling his velcro.tied trainers. One hand pulled his shopping, the other held simple flowers: incredibly gently and lifted high, with pride. I imagined that he was going home, to the person he had loved for A Hundred Years.
Seeing him made me feel happy but also a little bit sad, and I couldn’t work out why.
I hope that when I’m slow and shuffling, My Forever Love is making his way home to me.
My Lovely One and I are looking for a new house. A place to buy.
We have an idea of the kind of place we’re after, based on a list of all the stuff that is important to us.
But then, yesterday, I saw a place that just sat all happy in my heart and I couldn’t work out why. When I assessed it against our list of important.factors it didn’t really measure up. But when I just felt how it made me feel, I knew that it was right.
Now you know, house stuff is crazy [um, how much?!] and we might never end up living there. But the whole experience has reminded me that sometimes, even though my head thinks it knows what it wants, the super-rational answer it has come up with is not always the best fit for me [or for my little family].
Sometimes my heart is smarter than my head.
Do you know one of my most favourite things? When people are kind [for no reason].
A lovely woman I know was recently very lovely to me. I should explain: I know this lady but not very well at all. I sort of just assumed that she almost sort of didn’t really know my name. Well, not that she didn’t know my name, I knew she knew my name. But I just sort of assumed that she saw me as an acquaintance, someone that she knew through other people.
Anyway. The other day she texted me, wondering whether she could drop by with a couple of treats. I thought she meant some treats.from.the.bakery. You know, like lamingtons.
But she dropped by with a gorgeous, considered, new.mama.care.package. Now, this lady has two littlies of her own, so I know how much effort it would have taken to put the goodies together, bundle her babies into the car and drive to mine. But she did it anyway.