You know one of my most favourite things in the whole world? [I have lots].
When you’re driving down a street and there are cars parked on both sides, and there’s a car coming towards you. And you give way and the other car goes. And then that driver waves: thank you. And you wave back: you’re welcome.
A beautifully bubbled example of how the world at it’s best: generous, safe, grateful, respectful and kind.
As a coach, I see brilliant clients, all keen for positive change. But not all of them get to where they want to be.
The major difference? The ones that get there are the ones that do the work.
They’re the ones who go away and do the thinking, who do the journaling, who make the lists, who write the letters, who do the research, who make the calls, who embrace the challenges, who challenge discomfort, who make the small steps, who take the big leaps.
They’re the ones who email me or call me or [even better!] see me in person three weeks, three months, three years down the track and thank me for everything I did.
And I laugh and remind them that they did all the work, they made it happen, they shifted their own lives.
And the other folk? They’re the ones who contact me three years later and say they’re still where they were and they’re still unhappy. They’re the ones who say they want to try again [yes! terrific!]
It’s simple: if you want to change your life, do what you say you’re going to do.
I recently caught up with someone who I know cares for me, very much.
The first thing she said to me, loudly, was this: Alex! You’re too thin!
Before I had kids, this kind of comment would have made me angry for its intrusiveness, for its double standard [would you exclaim so loudly about someone who you thought was overweight?], for its judgement.
But now I have kids. And the comment was made in front of my two.and.a.bit year old daughter, who is deliciously unaware of body and of societal expectations and pressures, who sees her mama as a shining example of How To Be.
I wanted to scream: ENOUGH!!! Enough with the self-hate and the other-loathing and the judgement and the poison and the burden. Enough with the assessment and the comments. Enough!
But I didn’t. I just ignored it, turned to my daughter, gave her a huge hug and told her I loved her. So much.
[I just don’t get it: haven’t we had enough?]
My Little Ones and I were walking, when we saw a man and a woman standing in the grass near our home.
What they doing mama? [my Big Little One asked, loudly!]
And I explained: they’re praying.
I can’t tell you how much I love living in a country where individuals are free to get out of their cars, turn to Mecca and pray to their god. And I can’t even begin to explain how happy it makes me to live in an area where both my children and I have the opportunity to be reminded of the richness of the world.