I was in the car, with my two little ones.
One was asleep, the other was day.dreaming and I was feeling happy. The cars were banked up a little and I was day.dreaming a little too, just staring out the window.
There was a lady outside a house, gardening. She was young and super beautiful and had the most amazing tattoos. She was wearing cute little shorts and a sleeveless gingham top and a big scarf in her hair. And coming down the street was an old lady, walking slowly with a stick. She was wearing a collared white shirt and a mid-length tweed skirt and sensible pumps.
So, the older lady was slowly approaching the garden and as she did she stopped, to take it all in. And then she spoke. She must have said something lovely because the younger lady lit up, with the most beautiful smile I’ve seen [in forever]. And then the older lady smiled. And then I smiled. And then the traffic moved on.
It’s moments like that, that make my day.
The first time I had a Little One, I found it hard. Not the giving birth bit [though wowsers, yes! my friends, that was a challenge. Of the: if.I.did.that.I.can.do.anything type]. But more the after the bit. The coming home and the every day after that. For ages I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. And when I say ages, I mean A-G-E-S.
This time around it has felt heaps easier and I’ve been really curious about why. I think the biggest thing might just be that I know I’ve done it before and that I know [in retrospect] that I did [and continue to do] a really good job of it [according to what matters to me].
As a coach, lovely folk often talk to me about confidence and how to find it. I know that there are several ways to build your own sense of self-efficacy and one of those is Direct Performance Experience [otherwise known as: the more I see I can do it, the more I know I can].
But I know that doesn’t really help when you’re facing something that you’ve never done before. The good news is, there are other ways to build your own self-belief, like: verbal persuasion from others [they think I can so I must be able to!], watching folk who are similar to you do a great job [if she can I can too!] and positive emotional states [I'm feeling great so I'm well prepared to give it a go].
Knowing what boosts your own self-confidence makes you more able to access that self-belief when you really need it.
I went for a walk yesterday. Which, I know, sounds like Not A Very Big Deal.
But I was feeling a little flat [two-hourly wake ups will do that to a girl, even if she is waking for the sweetest of little dots]. And what I really felt like doing was crawling under my doona and having an I.would.stay.here.all.day.if.i.could snooze.
But, my friends, I didn’t. I pulled on my new [they.only.had.them.in.pink] trainers and headed out.
Now, I hadn’t walked properly for about a hundred years [I found it hard to move towards the end of my pregnancy] and I have been feeling a little house-bound of late [trying to work out how to coordinate two sets of tiny needs at exactly the same time - I have developed a whole new respect for parents I see out and about with multiple little ones...how did you even get out the door??]
So I went out and it was incredible! The sun was shining, my legs were moving [I have muscles!?] and I was listening to terrific music. So great!
They [They?] say that exercise is great for your well-being and I always think yehbut the times I most need a well-being boost are the times when I least feel like doing anything remotely exercise.like. But then I make the effort when I least feel like it and I know that They are super smart and super right.
Now? I’m just going to try and make it a regular thing.