5 thoughts holding you back

Part of my work as a coach involves Barrier Hunting.

Barriers get in the way of positive change – removing them makes it much easier to pursue and achieve your goals. But sometimes barriers can be hard to identify, especially in your own life.

Barriers can be practical [a simple example: not having running shoes when you want to start exercising] but often they relate to the ways you think.

If you’re struggling to achieve, it can be worthwhile to examine your thought processes. Here are some limiting ideas that I hear often:

I’m not good enough

You know what? It is possible that in certain situations this might be true.

But often the assertion is untested: the person telling me hasn’t even checked out what the requirements are, for what they want to do. They’re just holding on to to a self-limiting belief, which is protecting them from ever having to try.

I am constantly surprised by how often the people I see succeeding are not the best of the best. They’re the people who are actually giving it a go [and persisting].

It has to be perfect

The pursuit of perfection is really just a delay tactic, because perfection isn’t possible.

As long as you’re pursuing perfect you will never put your stuff out there, so you’ll never have to risk vulnerability. But you’ll also never have the opportunity to experience the amazingness that can come from delivering something to the world.

Try consciously committing to something else: like great.

Stuff will get better, if I wait long enough

Clients tell me they’ve been in jobs/relationships/lives they hate for weeks/months/years and then suggest that maybe, if they wait just a bit longer, stuff will improve.

It won’t.

Time doesn’t improve anything. Stuff gets better when you work to improve it, over time.

I don’t have the courage

It’s a big misconception: that some people are brave and others are not. Everyone gets courage for [their own version of] the big scary stuff, as they go. If you feel like you’re failing in the bravery department, try focusing on just the next little step. That’s all, just that next step.

They hate me/think I’m stupid/think I’m useless

A whole lot of people are held back from doing great things, by thoughts about themselves that they ascribe to others.

If you find yourself assuming that others are assessing you negatively, it can be helpful to distance yourself from those thoughts. You might like to try using the phrase: I am having the thought that. So instead of thinking: they hate me, you say to yourself: ‘I am having the thought that they hate me’.

Some simple shifts can remove these barriers, allowing for incredible life-enhancement. Top notch!

Tags: choices, courage, perfection, thinking