Assume good intent

One of the big things I see derailing my clients in their lives and careers is an assumption about what others might be thinking:

• My boss thinks I’m under-qualified
• The other mums at school think I’m unapproachable
• My parents think I make bad choices
• My partner thinks I’m too emotional

They assume and then they shape their behaviour around the assumption.

• My boss thinks I’m under-qualified: so I won’t bother going for promotion
• The other mums at school think I’m unapproachable: so I won’t try to make friends with them
• My parents think I make bad choices: so I won’t stay in touch with them
• My partner thinks I’m too emotional: so I won’t share my feelings about this

The fact is, the people in your life might be thinking those things. Or they might not. But without checking, you actually don’t know. And to make life-limiting choices based on unfounded assumptions seems a real waste of opportunity.

One of the most effective ways to make a big shift in your life is to catch yourself in making assumptions about others and then choose. Either:

• Ask, so that you know and can then make decisions based on fact; or
• Recognise the assumption, consciously assume good intent, and then proceed on that basis.

This approach takes practice and serious discipline. But the results are definitely worthwhile.

Tags: career-coaching, life-coaching, Melbourne