Back her Boundaries

I talk a whole lot about boundaries!

I see clients of mine stretched absolutely thin and still, taking on more and more and more – feeling bad that they aren’t doing enough and feeling resentful that they’re doing too much. UGH!

I talk about how to get clear on what you’re willing to do and then, how to communicate those needs and expectations. How to say No. But one thing I’ve never spoken about, which I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, is the importance of supporting others when they attempt to assert their own boundaries.

I have had a lot of people speak to me recently about situations where they’ve explicitly communicated their limits and they’ve received significant, sometimes overwhelming, pushback. And I can count at least three recent instances myself, where I set a firm boundary but was met with a refusal to accept my position.

[An example? Another small business-owner invited me to participate in an event they were running. I pleasantly declined the invitation, as it didn’t align with my target demographic or business purpose. The person replied in an aggressive tone, suggesting that I should be grateful for opportunities to promote my business and that they would give me time to consider their offer more thoughtfully. ugh.]

Setting boundaries is HARD. We all know that, right?!

So while we’re improving our own boundary setting, let’s also get better at supporting each other’s efforts!

• When someone sets a boundary, respect it! [You spend Tuesdays with your kids? Terrific! When else could we possibly meet?]
• When you hear someone wavering, buffer them! [I think I can hear that that might not be the best option for you. Let’s think of an alternative that might suit us both better.]
• When you hear someone’s boundary being overridden, speak up! [oh Jamie, I think I heard Emily say she was at capacity. I wonder if anyone else in the team could help?]

The better we get at championing each other’s efforts at asserting boundaries, the better able we will be to uphold our own.

Tags: career-coaching, life-coaching, Melbourne