Choose you: moment by moment

There are moments, in your days, that offer you the opportunity to move towards the person you want to be, towards the life you really want to live.

• Do you avert your eyes or do you offer your seat on the tram?
• Do you judge your friend or do you try to understand?
• Do you send a text to cancel or do you call?
• Do you zone-out or do you listen to your little.one talk about her day?
• Do you hold back at work or do you volunteer?
• Do you scroll insta or do you take a walk after dinner?
• Do you blame or do you apologise?

You can work with a (brilliant!) evidence-based coach to determine your higher order goals, you can design beautifully aligned actions that will help you achieve them and then you can consciously pursue them. But if you’re not taking advantage of these mini.moments during the day then you might not ever become the person you really hope to be.

The tricky thing is, these Choice Points, aren’t highlighted. You can’t anticipate them or plan for them. All you can do is notice them when they arise and then choose according to your values.

I make it sound easy, but I totally get that noticing opportunities and choosing consciously can be a challenge.

One of the biggest barriers to doing this is busyness. [Or at least this: perceived busyness]. When you’re feeling rushed and pulled and stressed and tired you don’t always see the choice. Or if you do, you just want the fastest, most efficient option [which is often not the one that is the best fit, for you].

If you feel like busyness is getting in the way of you making choices that will encourage your best self, I suggest this:

• Set limits on your own screen use.
• Challenge yourself to sit for a while, doing nothing. Make this a regular habit.
• Take a piece of paper and scribble some dot points on: what matters to me?
• Have a conversation each day, where you [really!] listen and make eye contact.
• And finally – start noticing the Choice Points in your day…and choosing how you respond to them.