How to: enjoy public speaking [yes, really]

Public speaking is constructed as something horrible. Something to dread. Something to be terrified of.

And no doubt: everyone who speaks in front of a crowd is nervous.

But because it’s meant to be awful and you’re meant to hate it, most people go into it thinking they will. And that their performance will be pretty rotten. [And then, for some strange reason, it often turns out that way. Weird, huh?]

The thing is, speaking to an audience doesn’t have to be horrific. As a life-coach, I say that it is absolutely possible to shape your experience of speaking in public. To make it into something that is – now stick with me here, people – actually enjoyable.

Shaping your public speaking experience requires you to do two things:

+ Get Excited

Most people, when they start to feel the nerves around public speaking, try to get themselves to calm down. And then they get anxious that they can’t calm and that makes them even more nervous. And so, the discomfort compounds.

It is much more effective to choose excitement over nerves.

So.

Don’t even let yourself consider being nervous. Don’t say the words ‘agh I’m so nervous!’ to yourself. Don’t discuss the upcoming event with your friends and family and colleagues and moan about how freaked out you are and how nervous you’re going to be. Refuse to engage with that line of thinking.

Do choose to convert your nerves into excitement. Actively say to yourself and to anyone you speak to about it: ‘I am so excited!’

This might feel a little inauthentic, until you…

+ Find a bigger purpose

When you’re speaking publicly, the tendency is to focus on the very immediate task [agh! I have to try not to sound like an idiot/collapse/stumble over my words/make a fool of myself/etc].

In order to transform the experience into a positive one, it is essential to connect to something bigger:

• I’m sharing info that really matters to me
• I’m boosting the profile of my business [which I really believe in]
• I love connecting with people and this is a great opportunity to do that
• I’m looking forward to helping people with my ideas
• I want to show my kids how to be brave
• I value a life that is rich in experience and I want to live in a way that really reflects that

When you are working towards a higher purpose, the finer details of your delivery matter far less. You create space to connect with who you really are and to do what really matters, to you. And that, my friends, is where the magic happens.

***

I ws recently invited on radio – to speak about career and whether you need to love your job. I connected to something bigger and I chose to be excited. And even though I could feel adrenaline pumping as I arrived in the studio – I loved every minute and I was super proud of myself, afterwards.

What are your thoughts on this approach? I would love to hear.

Tags: life-coaching, Melbourne