Forget resolutions

As a life-coach, one of my busiest times of year is the new year.

People are fresh off their summer holidays and are madly striving all of the brilliant goals they dreamed up, beach-side. I am also asked to comment for media publications on topics like: Sticking to Your Resolutions! Setting Great New Year’s Goals! How to Make this Year’s Resolutions Actually Work!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am mad for a great goal [I am a coach, after all!] But…I am decidedly anti-resolutions.

Here’s why.

I know that for a goal to work – long term – it needs to be intrinsically connected; it needs to be something you’re working towards because you really, really want it. It can’t be primarily driven by external factors.

Classic external factors can include:

• Your perception of others’ expectations [I think my parents really want me to be a lawyer]
• Others’ explicit demands [my boss told me that I have to present more powerfully]
• Financial pressure [I need to get this job so that I can keep paying my kids’ school fees]
• Time [I will get super fit…at the start of the year!]

If you’re saying to yourself that you’ll start striving from 1st Jan, the driving force behind your goal pursuit isn’t internal but external. Once the weeks creep away from that original start date, the impetus eases and so your motivation tends to flag.

An alternative?

Focus on a goal that you actually do [really!] want to achieve, for you. Distance yourself from that new year start date. And choose a day [how about today?!] that you are in charge of.

Then, of course, make sure to implement all your other essential goal setting/striving prep work: identify resources; set objective markers; build in rewards and reinforcements; create an effective feedback mechanism; identify your champions and finally…plan an amazing celebration!

Tags: life-coaching, Melbourne