Out of a rut

Feeling stuck in a rut is rotten. You’re living life, not enjoying it much, not seeing great results and feeling unmotivated. You want it to be different but nothing you try seems to work.

Ruts can relate to any aspect of life: career, relationships, exercise, self-growth. Moving beyond them can be tricky but it’s definitely do-able.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

First: Take a Break
When you’re working hard and pushing yourself to achieve, your capacity to self-regulate eventually fatigues. Just like a muscle after an extended period of exertion, your depleted self needs a while to recharge, before it can continue to work.

A walk around the block, a weekend off, a holiday: do whatever you need to replenish your reserves. Then you’ll be ready to de-rut yourself properly and get firing again!

Give
Ruts have a tendency to narrow your focus [I hate it here, I feel so uncomfortable, my life is so hard, how can I get out!?]

Giving to someone else forces you to stop thinking about yourself for a little while. You start to consider others’ situations and you begin to see the bigger picture. That boosts your positive emotion [gratitude, anyone?!] and enhances your thought-action repertoire, leaving you with more opportunities for direction.

So! Empty out your cupboard and donate to the Salvos, hang out the washing for a friend with a newborn or volunteer at your local Brekky Club.

Tell a Different Story
The stories we tell ourselves define our existence.

Robert Hargrove distinguishes between Rut and River stories:

• Rut stories speak in terms of what is going wrong and what is holding you back, and they tend to keep you stuck.
• River stories speak in terms of possibility and growth and transformation, and they tend to allow for those possibilities.

When you transform Rut into River stories, you begin to move. How could you shift the stories you tell yourself?

Do Differently

When you’re stuck in a rut it can feel like life is happening to you. Recover some sense of autonomy by choosing a new way of doing things.

It doesn’t have to be big: drive a different way to work, walk around the supermarket the opposite direction, order a different coffee, sit in a different chair while you watch telly.

Even small changes will help you feel like you have a say over how you live your life. And that sense of capacity will eventually allow for bigger directional shifts.

Reduce the Noise
It is incredibly difficult to work out what you really want and how you really want to live, when there is so much noise out there trying to decide it for you.

Your parents, your colleagues, your partner, Instagram/Facebook: everyone seems to have input.

Working out where you want to go and the best way for you to get there requires you to quiet that chatter, at least for a little while. Set limits on your phone use, try some mindfulness, go to bed a little earlier.