Right Here

The other morning I was sitting on my bed when I realised that it was exactly nine years since my mum died.

She died on the morning of the first day of Autumn [which was excellent in a sad way, because she L-O-V-E-D summer and it was like she hung in there to savour every delicious morsel of her final season. And I loved that.]

It caught my breath a little. Even though it has been so long. But I just sat with the feeling. Inhaled and listened. To the sound of my two Little Ones playing with their dad: giggles and shrieks and snorts of laughter. And I felt really happy.

One of my most favourite things about being here [alive, you know] is feeling it all: the drops, when I think I’m never going to manage to climb my way out, and the huge highs, when I hold my little ones as the sun comes up and my throat catches and I wonder how I ever got this lucky.

It’s all part of it, isn’t it?

Tags: baby love, courage, family, gratitude, happiness, Sadness, self, values