How to: Be Popular

What?! How to be popular?! Being popular doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter! You shouldn’t have to compromise who you are so people will like you! What?!

I agree. I would never advocate being someone you aren’t, just for a few false votes.

What I mean is this: I know that life feels good [reeeeeeally good], when you have people around you who like who you are, who believe in you, who champion your efforts, who think you’re pretty terrific. When you have people around you who you like, people cheering you on. Having that background support helps you to be your own best self, to live the life you most want to live.

And in order to draw great people close, to support you in being your best self, you need to be that best version of yourself, first.

+ Listen

People love other people who make them feel great. Not in a gross, sycophantic way. In a real, warm, I.think.you’re.pretty.tops kind of way.

One of the best ways to make other people feel great is to listen to them. And hear them. You know, really hear them. So ask good questions and then listen to the answers. Listen without judgement, without using the response as a vehicle to share your own stuff. Just listen.

Others will love you and your own life will also be enriched. Good stuff.

+ Be Confident

This one can be tricky if you don’t already feel confident. But expressing a sense of being ok with who and where you are will help encourage your own self-belief.

So, lift your gaze. Stand tall. Share your information, generously. Be kind. Avoid language that diminishes you:

• I’m just writing with a quick idea…
• This is probably a stupid question but…
• Oh! I’m sorry [when you haven’t done anything wrong]

Stand your solid ground. Know who you are and know you’re ok. Help others believe that you’re pretty ok too.

+ Make Eye Contact

Attracting great people requires an openness to the world. Making eye contact sends a big, loud, happy message that you’re someone who loves life and who wants to share that joy.

I’m not talking about making eye contact in Important Business Meetings [although I’m sure that’s always a good idea]. I’m talking more generally, about: making eye contact with the person who takes your coffee order; making eye contact with the person selling you The Big Issue; making eye contact with other lovely people on the tram.

+ Be Positive

To attract great people, who will help you be your own very best version of you, it is important to be positive.

Now, I’m not suggesting you skip around pretending you’re a rainbow unicorn. No! No-one likes fakery. But you can choose how to make sense of your experiences and how you share them with the world.

+ Do What You Say You Will

People like people who demonstrate integrity; they like people they can count on.

So, be a good human. If you say you will meet someone, meet them. If you say you will follow up with an email, follow up with an email. If you say you will call, call.

I get it. I get that people are busy but if you aren’t willing to do something, don’t say you will. People will remember your lack of integrity and they won’t want to do business [or more importantly, life] with you.

+++

Being Popular isn’t about having five-thousand followers on Instagram and heaps of fabulous parties to go to every weekend. It’s about being really, truly, warmly loved by [even just a few] people who think you’re terrific and who help you to live at your very best.

And the best thing? Popularity is available to anyone: who is willing to be open and honest and kind.