How to: Boost Your Confidence

Confidence [specifically: how to get it] is a big theme over at Upstairs. So many women I speak to have a whole heap of amazing ideas floating around in their heads but they’re terrified to share them with the world. They come to me seeking confidence. My response?

Do.

Sitting on your sofa thinking about doing cool stuff isn’t going to boost your confidence. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that sitting there Not Doing Anything is actually diminishing what confidence you do have. A big source of confidence is doing stuff that’s challenging and realising that you are actually incredibly well equipped.

An example? I can think of three [in no particular order] times where my confidence peaked – after I competed in a super hard physical race, after I gave birth and after I appeared live on national telly. It’s important to note that I didn’t feel that confident before any of those events but afterwards I felt I could do anything! And that sense of capacity has continued to grow as I have pushed myself.

If you’re sitting there, still waiting to be hit with the [non-existent] Confidence Stick, here are three different approaches:

+ Accept.

Accept that for you, the discomfort involved in doing is not worth the life experience and growth it will most likely bring. Give yourself permission to sit quietly and safe. This is not necessarily a bad option – you can live a lovely life feeling safe. But chances are, if you’re reading this blog you are someone who wants more. In that case you can:

+ Start small.

Start with stuff that [for you] is easy – make a list, comment on a blog, get an ABN. Then build up to harder [for you] stuff – call someone, start a course, travel solo. And finally, leap into the really scary [for you] stuff – teach a class, write a book, give a TED talk! But if all this sounds like it’s going to take a while and you’re keen to start RIGHT NOW you can choose instead to…

+ Go Big.

Launch right in! Think of the scariest thing you can, commit so that you can’t renege and then do it. Once you’re done, everything else will be a breeze!

Tags: choices, confidence, goals