Over thinking

As a coach, people often speak to me about over-thinking.

They tell me that they just over-analyse everything and they’re sick of it. The over-thinking isn’t helping, it’s making them miserable, but they just can’t seem to stop.

We tend to over-analyse because we are worried and over-analysing can deliver a [false] sense of control [if I’m thinking about it I must be exerting influence over it]. Or because we want to protect ourselves from taking action that feels scary [if I’m thinking about it I’m justified in not yet taking action].

Rather than helping, over-thinking can make you feel rotten and keep you from pursuing positive goals and achieving satisfying change.

The thing most people try to do to stop their brains turning over and over [and over] is tell themselves to: Just Stop Thinking. But Not Thinking is difficult and almost impossible to sustain, long term. It is far more helpful to try a few of the following ideas:

• Recognise the behaviour. When you are in the habit of over-analysing everything, you often don’t even realise when you’re doing it. For just a day, try to catch yourself in the act and when you do, rather than judging or berating yourself, just notice. And get curious about what tends to trigger and fuel the rumination.
• Choose an alternative. Rather than trying to not over-analyse, which is an Avoidance Goal, it can be much more effective to select an Approach Goal, something to work towards. You could choose to start the day by getting down on paper all the thoughts circling in your brain then put your notes aside and get on with your day.
• Be proactive. Instead of just ruminating, choose to act. Write down three things you can actually do to shift the situation, attach an action-date for each then go ahead and do them.

Tags: life-coaching, Melbourne