ratios

Self-help literature is mad about Passions: finding your passion, pursuing your passion, living your passion. [phwah! exhausting].

The word passion can be misleading. It makes it seem as though what you’re after is a concrete activity, one that you can unfold and set up and pack up again. One that has a label. Like macramé or running or Saving the World. Sometimes I think it can be more helpful to hold the concept of A Passion a little more lightly. Maybe to re-conceptualise it as Stuff That Makes Your Brain Light Up.

For me, one of those things is relationships between people [in a beautifully.nerdy way, I find them endlessly fascinating] and in particular: how to promote strong inter-personal relationships.

Marcial Losada’s work in this area is interesting. He talks about ratios: boosting the ratio of positive to negative statements between individuals to enhance connectivity, performance and well-being. His magic number is 5:1 [that is, balancing every negative statement with five positive statements].

Losada’s work centres on the organisational space but similar ideas have been explored in relation to other areas. A ratio of 3:1 has, for example, been suggested as a focus for couples looking to enhance their experience at home.

All that gets me wondering about how we might be able to apply this idea of ratios to the way we engage with ourselves.

Perhaps by maintaining an awareness of our own, personal +/- ratio we can balance all that negative stuff we say and believe about ourselves with more life-enhancing thoughts and messages. Maybe it is one way we can encourage a more positive emotional space, internally.

Tags: happiness, positive, relationships, self