round

Recently, on Facebook, a lot of lovely women I know have been signing up for an exercise program – a 30 Day Ab Challenge.

These sign ups have been appearing in my feed for over a week and I’ve just been glossing over them, sort of noticing but not noticing [if you know what I mean]. But yesterday, when another one appeared, I responded differently. And it really bothered me.

This is what happened: I saw the sign up and I suddenly thought to myself [in a sort of maniacal way]: maybe I need to do the Ab Challenge too!

Just as quickly, I had a reality check. Firstly, I looked down and saw my beautifully round and fast-growing baby belly. I reminded myself that baby bellies don’t need Ab-Blasting. And secondly, I remembered that even when I’m not pregnant I know that that type of exercise [while it might be great for other lovely folk] is just not what’s best for me. It doesn’t suit my body and it doesn’t suit my brain.

So, I was easily able to check in with my True Self, to remind myself of who I am and what I really need. But the thing is, what really bothered me, was that I needed to. It bothered me that I needed to respond to a panicky sense of Not Being Enough. That despite my long-term and ongoing efforts at developing and sustaining self-awareness and self-acceptance, I’m still susceptible to those messages.

It can be disheartening when you do heaps of work on yourself and you still find yourself feeling like you’ve regressed, or just that you’re not getting anywhere. I’ve decided to not see the experience that way. I’ve decided to see it as a reminder – of what is important to me and of how I want to live: consciously, happily and in balance.

Tags: body, values, vulnerability