Shift your Shoulds

One of the most common phrases I hear in my coaching practice is: I should.

I should. I should. I should. I shouldn’t. I should. I should. I shouldn’t. I should.

So many great women share brilliant ideas of things they would love to do but then their Shoulds rein them in.

As we’re growing up, we tend to learn a framework for living: from our parents; from other important people in our lives; from our community; from our culture. And often as adults we actively subscribe to those ideals. Or we adjust them to fit more squarely with a chosen belief system. Or we reject them outright and choose an alternative.

But sometimes those inherited shoulds linger and operate furtively. They tend to influence, without us really being aware.

It can be helpful to get clear on your Shoulds. And to explore them, thoughtfully.

This activity, inspired by Elle Luna, is terrific:

Take a big piece of paper and note down every single should/shouldn’t that comes to mind. [More will occur to you in the following days, you can add them after].

Then look at your list and for every should ask yourself the following questions:

• Where did you come from?
• Are you true for me?
• Do I want to keep holding on to you?
• And if not: what do I believe?

Getting clear on what you really believe and how you really want to live your life can be incredibly liberating. But exploring your belief systems can be challenging so please, go gently.

Tags: life-coaching, Melbourne