speak up

Public speaking scares me.

Recently, I almost chose to avoid a shining celebration of my achievements, a launch of my brilliant business, because I was afraid of standing in front of others, of having their full attention, of looking stupid, of…other stuff that still isn’t quite clear to me.

But I am a big believer in doing the very stuff that I’m scared of. I believe in challenging myself, and having the courage to become more the person I want to be.

So I planned a party in a beautiful space. I invited my favourite people (and some lovely, new friends) along. And I refused to engage in the sort of self-deprecating, comedic commentary that I would normally use to downgrade others’ expectations and ease my own anxiety. Instead, I focused on how I wanted to feel after the event: proud, capable, honest and authentic.

The night came: I launched, I celebrated! And I spoke.

My words didn’t come out exactly the way I had planned. I was a little quiet, I stumbled and blushed. But I felt good, I felt strong and connected – to myself and to others. I felt happy. I felt like me.

We tend to assess things like speeches, conversations, meetings and interviews by external factors like practical results and the response of others. Maybe a more accurate, and ultimately more satisfying, gauge of success is how you feel about yourself and how loyal you remain to your own values.