surrender

So there I was, thinking I was oh.so.clever, having finally learnt my lesson [you know, the one about it being ok to ask for help].

When what happened? I went and got sick. And in good.ol’.me.style decide that I could manage it Just Fine with no help whatsoever.

Ahahahaha! Turns out the world had other plans.

When I woke up yesterday morning all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and stay there for pretty much ever. [Or at least until my body started to cooperate]. I realised that there was no way in hell I was going to be able to care for a just.one.year.old and his deliciously rambunctious two year old sister.

So I made the call and handed them both over to one of their most.favourite.people. And then I went and lay in bed and watched TED talks (with a little bit of Oprah for good great measure) and slept. All day. I surrendered. And it felt SO GOOD.

I thought I’d learnt the lesson and I was wrong. But I reckon I’m getting there, slowly.

Tags: choices, family, vulnerability