The [real] reasons you’re not achieving

Sometimes you can be workingworkingworking but feeling like you’re not getting anywhere. It is incredibly disheartening and not great for your motivation [which we know, feeds off a strong belief in your ability to achieve].

The good news? A few tweaks can make all the difference.

Here are some of the usual suspects when it comes to holding you back and some simple shifts to get you back on track.

You’re overwhelmed

When you want to get to where you want to be, it is tempting to fall into the trap of thinking that you have to choose the perfect next step. The only problem is: the perfect next step doesn’t exist. You can have no idea what will come from any decision you make.

When I started thinking about coaching I worried endlessly about what coaching course to do. I [eventually!] chose one and it turned out that it was not nearly as theoretical and evidence-based as I believe is necessary. But it wasn’t a mistake. It got me started and it led me to beginning [and finishing!] a Masters in Coaching Psychology.

Instead: just start. Do something that will get you moving.

You’re trying to be her

She is infinitely cool and creative and funny and clever and bold. She has an amazing product/website/family/look/job/life that you love. You find yourself changing your words, your clothes, the events you attend, the stuff you post, the things you write. Because she is successful and you so want that for yourself!

But that’s her and you are you. And when you try to be the way she is, you come across as inauthentic and your efforts are ultimately unsustainable.

Instead: consider when you’re at your best. Notice what’s going on. Encourage more of that.

You’re not doing the work

Ouch.

Yep! The people who succeed are the people who sit down and do the writing and the thinking and the planning and the calling. They’re the people who stay up late or wake up early, who make time to do what’s needed. Even those magically blessed people who make it seem effortless, they do the work too.

Instead: do the work [and stop making excuses].

You’re thinking you can’t stand out

Heaps of people come to me and say that they want to move into a different field. Then follow it up with: but so many people want to be in that field and I could never be successful [in a market that saturated].

They’re right in one sense – there are a gazillion people who are keen to do that work. But most of those people are thinking exactly the same thing: I could never stand out because there are so many players. And so they’re not trying either.

Instead: stand out by finding a niche, getting started [and doing the work].

You’re staying safe

Getting to the life you want, the life that feels amazing and is incredibly satisfying, the life that is bigger and bolder, requires discomfort. You cannot get there without feeling at least a little bit embarrassed or nervous or shy or stupid or completely bloody terrified.

Instead: reframe the discomfort. Have it feel great because it’s getting you to where you want to be.

You’ve lost the joy

When  you’re focused on achievement, it’s really easy to lose sight of what you’re aiming for: [like] feeling amazing and inspired and full of life. The process becomes heavy and dark and burdened with fear.

Not only do those negative emotions discourage connections and creative thinking, they limit the possibility of the outcome being infused with joy and humour and amazingness.

Instead: remember what you’re aiming for. Write down five words to guide you and reflect on them often.

Tags: choices, goals, happiness