Values clash

Lots of clients have been speaking to me recently about the difficulty they’re having navigating Covid-19: Zoom-overload, home-schooling, financial loss, isolation…and more. Of course, more.

One specific and common challenge that has interested me is this: how to reconcile your own personal approach to social restrictions with the stance that others are taking.

Whenever conflict arises, it is tempting [and easy] to leap to They’re-Wrong-And-I’m-Right thinking. But such a binary approach tends to keep you stuck, it offers little room to move.

It can be far more helpful to reach for a more nuanced understanding, to think about conflict in terms of values. When you start from here, you already have a strong point in common: you’re both living in accordance with personally held principles.

• So maybe they’re still meeting up with friends because they value connection. And actually, you do too it’s just that your personal focus on safety has trumped your commitment to connection, in this particular instance.
• Or maybe they’re still refusing visitors even though restrictions have eased a little, because they value calm and they’ve found all this change of late to be pretty unsettling. And while you can absolutely understand that because a quiet approach is something you do appreciate, you’re also ready for a bit of joy, finally!

Operating from a place of values offers an opportunity for mutual understanding, an opportunity to move towards rather than away from the people around you.

And that’s good, right?

Tags: career-coaching, life-coaching, Melbourne