values [hunt for]

I often talk to clients about values. It is useful work and yet sometimes it proves a bit tricky. [The identifying values bit].

When a client is struggling, I suggest this: keep an eye on your emotional responses to everyday life. As you’re moving through your week, notice moments when your emotions are piqued in some way. When that happens, you can be pretty sure that a value has been triggered.

Here’s an example.

I was driving yesterday when I stopped to get some petrol. As I went inside to pay I saw the petrol station attendant helping an older, suited man at the drinks fridge. The attendant was being very helpful and courteous but all of a sudden the customer said loudly and rudely: don’t you understand what I’m saying? Then just walked away.

I felt a huge rush of anger. In retrospect I see that it was my belief in equality that had been provoked. The customer had spoken in a way that was incredibly disrespectful and demeaning. And I had the sense that he wouldn’t have spoken that way if the attendant had also been in a suit and sitting across from him in a boardroom.

It doesn’t have to be anger. You might feel a sudden wave of joy, surrounded by family at your niece’s first birthday party. Whatever the emotion, if it feels big, unexpected and out of the ordinary, it most likely indicates a value of yours has been sparked.

Tags: choices, values