warrior

Stuff has been a little too much for me, of late.

[as much as I may have rejected it previously] I know that I am someone who thrives in calm and balance. But stuff, at the moment is bit out of kilter; just now, it is a little bit too much.

I would like to say that I have been responding calmly, mindfully, remaining aware of my experience and resisting the urge to react and judge. On the surface I have been traveling gently but inside – not so much.

This morning: a visit to the doctor brings it all to the front of my brain: I write a bleeeugghh email to one of my most beautiful and trusted friends. bleeugggh I say. Knowing that I am just seeking the safe space that she so generously creates for me.

Then, after: computering. A blogger I follow [a beautiful, calm, finding.her.way.woman who I don’t even know but feel connected to through her gentle words] has written that she too, has been having a tough time. That she is trusting herself, softly reminding herself to turn inside, to the peaceful warrior within.

And through all the stuff that is swirling, through the messy.haze that I have exacerbated with my bleeeeugh email, her words shine. And make sense [to me].

I think it’s important to be able to know how to right yourself, to know how to bring yourself back to steady, to know how to self-soothe. But I reckon it’s more than enough sometimes, to rely on wonderful, amazing, wise, kind women [even if they don’t even know you’ve met.]