whispered

My Lovely One recently had an accident at home and spent a few nights in hospital.

When I went to visit him, I found myself walking through a ward that I think could be one of the saddest places ever. I found myself remembering (almost physically) the times when I was visiting my mum and I was so broken I could barely breathe.

When she died, I thought I was never going to ever be a normal human ever again. I couldn’t see beyond the pain that was threatening to overwhelm me. When you’re in that moment, you know [intellectually] that other people emerge but you just can’t imagine it for yourself.

This morning my daughter and I were talking about family and she asked me my mum’s name. I paused, and had to whisper my answer, to stop myself from crying.

I’m whole again now and so happy. [But I still miss her.]

Tags: connection, family, grief, happiness, love